Did you know we ALL have a love tank?
Just as we need to fill our gas tanks often we need to fill our love tanks often as well.
I first heard of this analogy in the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I absolutely love this analogy, it is simple and makes so much sense!
Let me share with you and example. Last week my son was giving me a hard time the whole day, I was super exasperated with him and quickly started hating that is was Summer break. Lo and behold the next morning him and I happened to be up before my daughter and husband. I had been laying in bed thinking I should be a good mom and make some eggs or pancakes, something other than cereal for breakfast. When we went downstairs Ethan asked is I could make waffles, I hate making waffles, that is a daddy job, so I compromised on pancakes. We made raspberry chocolate chip pancakes (My new favorite), blueberry, and sprinkles and chocolate chips (his choice!). Not only did I let him mix the batter, I let him pour the batter on the griddle and flip them as well! He was an angel the rest of the day! That is when I remembered this great analogy! His little love tank had been filled up from our time together in the kitchen.
I know us moms do a TON for our kids. How many days a week are we at the baseball fields? How many bags of silly bands do we buy them? How many trips to McD’s do we take? the park? the ice cream store? the pool? the list goes on! But we have to keep in mind these things may not be our children’s love language.
The 5 Love Languages are:
Quality time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Gifts and Words of Affirmation
These qualify both for kids and adults. Think about it? Which one (or 2) really makes you feel loved? I absolutely enjoy spending time alone with my husband (quality time would probably be 2nd for me) but it is when he brings home a little something special just for ME that I really feel loved…even if it is just a bottle of peach tea imported from Italy from the Italian market! But on the same token I cannot expect him to feel loved when I buy him gifts because that is not his love language, he appreciates them, yes, but they do not fill him up. Same for our kids…
In the next week be on the look out to identify your families love languages and try it…fill them up and see what happens!!
You can take a test to find out what yours is here.
You can probably get the book at your library, there is an adult one as well as a kids one.
This is not a paid post in anyway, just a little wisdom sharing.
About Donna Schuster
Great reminder! I haven’t read the book but it is on my massive To Read Someday list. To often we think material things are the end all be all of showing love but most of the time people want us – our time, our thoughts, our touch, etc.
Elizabeth´s last [type] ..Deed Restrictions & the HOA
[Reply]
What a beautiful post! This is brilliant, “keep in mind these things may not be our children’s love language.” All the things we do expresses our love but they may not be quite those things that fill up our children’s love tanks as you put it. Figuring out what does fill them up is our job as moms – and it’s usually easier than we think it is. We just have to pay attention.
Thank you for sharing this post! Very beautiful reminder and well said.
[Reply]
I am so glad you shared this! I learned about Dr. Gary Chapman and his book on the five love languages during a marriage preparation seminar at my local church.
I am so glad my husband and I learned about this while we were still engaged! This helped our transition into marriage A WHOLE LOT. He knows I feel loved by the quality time he spends with me and he purposely sets aside time to fill my love tank in that manner.
His love language is gifts. Which I make a conscious effort to fulfill.
Can’t wait to practice this when we have children someday! Such a great blog post
Samantha Johnson´s last [type] ..Link Love: June 2010
[Reply]
That is wonderful. This is the first I have heard of that book. I can’t wait to read it. I also love the terminology “love tanks”. Doesn’t it seem like when your car is filled up it runs smoother. I can see the connection. When I fill up my familiy’s love tanks, mine is also filled! I love making them happy and reminding them how much I love them.
Great post
Crystal´s last [type] ..PositvParenting: Father’s Day presence: The Pats offensive lineman, who has dedicated himself to empowering young people through gr… http://bit.ly/cBbfMY
[Reply]
Totally loving this post. So true. Walker is always in a better mood after he gets a little quality time<3
[Reply]