How to Insult a Blogger With Your Pitch

I just received this pitch:



I was looking at your site and was wondereding if you would be filling to link to my client in return for a box of either cheese or meat from my clients site. This client supplies to top class restaurants – so you can expect a great product.


Maybe you could do a review of the product?



As with most mom bloggers, this isn’t the first time I have received a horribly written pitch. I often wonder what goes through the mind of a PR rep when crafting an email like above.  Even if you take away the blatant misspellings and grammatical errors, you’re still left with the sad offer of “a box of cheese or meat” from an unknown “top class” client to review from a “Chris” who is affiliated with an unknown business or firm. Why does Chris want to work with me?  How can we both benefit from this relationship? Who is Chris’ client specifically?  What firm is Chris from?  When Chris says “link”, what he mean? The vagueness kills me.

I am, by no means, above reviewing cheese or meat (I have reviewed produce) and I do not possess the attitude that I only deserve paid offers.  In fact, I frequently accept product in return for review posts. No, the issue lies within the careless delivery and approach of the pitch.  Why shouldn’t I be approached professionally?  Am I not considered a business woman since I am a mom, too?

A good pitch can convince me that a box of cheese can improve my life, increase my readership, possibly open bigger doors down the road, or just be plain fun to try out.  A good pitch makes me stop and consider the opportunity, period.  A bad pitch, however, goes immediately to the trash bin or in a blog post like this.

What are your thoughts?