Jon & Kate Plus 8 Drama – My Thoughts and Yours

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I have been undecided for a while about whether or not to discuss the whole drama with Jon & Kate Plus 8. Part of this hesitation was due to feeling a little silly for caring so much, but after seeing hundreds of tweets on Twitter regarding this issue, I no longer felt silly. If you do not care about this subject, please skip on by to another blog and do not be hateful in your comments. We all have an opinion, which I want to hear, but please be respectful of the Gosselin family.

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I am a TLC junkie. Have been since we first received cable six years ago. My favorite shows in the beginning were Trading Spaces, What Not to Wear, and A Baby Story. A couple years ago I caught the first special about Jon, Kate and their brood. As many other mom viewers, I was fascinated by the sheer logistics of caring for eight children. The second special captivated me as well, and I was thrilled to hear they were making regular episodes. Instantly, I was fan.

For those of you who not “get” what is so great about Jon & Kate Plus 8, let me share my thoughts. For some reason, I could relate to what Jon and Kate were going through on a daily basis. Watching Jon & Kate manage eight children actually made managing my two seem like a breeze, and actually made me thankful that my life was less chaotic than theirs. I figured that if they could do it with eight, I could easily do it with two. Another thing that drew me to the show was the roller coaster relationship between Jon & Kate. It was immediately apparent that Kate was really hard on Jon, and often treated him as one of her children. It was also obvious that Jon wasn’t perfect either, and could be immature and distant. Having that friction between both spouses was also something that I, and others, could relate to, even if it wasn’t exactly the same sort of friction. It seemed real, in the beginning.

Think what you may about me, but I have seen every single episode of this show. When you watch a “reality” show like this one from the very beginning, you feel like you know the family personally, which is honestly a little weird and creepy. It is fun peeking into someone else’s life, and like I said, it makes you feel better as a wife and parent when you see them succeed or sometimes fail. HOWEVER, it is television. There ARE ratings, AND some of the episodes are staged, which takes away any “reality” left to the show. When the Gosselins start getting teeth whitening, hair plugs, and fancy vacations, you start to feel less and less connected with them, because most of us simply cannot relate to that lifestyle. Are they wrong for accepting the perks of being television stars? No, not at all, but it does alienate their viewers to a point. Regardless of their new celebrity-like life, I, and many others, still wanted to see the children grow up and hear their funny conversations. (my nine year-old thinks they are hilarious!)

Now…the season five premiere that aired last night. Even after witnessing four seasons of Jon & Kate disputing, AND reading all of the tabloid accusations floating around, I still felt incredibly sad for both parents last night. Seeing the awkwardness of them not talking or showing ANY emotion towards each other just ripped my heart out. I quickly forgot about all of the things that were turning me off about the show, because I saw real, true pain. Some would say they brought it upon themselves, and maybe they did to an extent, but it does not take away the hurt and potential damage to their family.

What made me most upset last night was the lack of conversation about working on their marriage. In my opinion, “doing what is best for the kids” would be focusing on their marriage and trying to salvage what they can. In all fairness, maybe they have. Maybe they are past that point. Seriously, we only see their life in episodes and tabloids. Honestly, I was surprised that they shared so much with their viewers about their marriage. I think it was somewhat smart to open up to the viewers, which may help avoid further trash talk. (not that the tabloids will care) Nobody likes to see a family go through a potential divorce, especially after seeing their children so happy and adorable at their birthday party. Hearing one of their daughters asking her daddy to be home more was really, really sad. Kids can sense when something is wrong, and as a child of divorce, my heart goes out to them.

As much as I want to see what happens next in their life, I really think they should end the show and come back to true “reality” for the sake of their family. I know the show and books provide Jon & Kate’s current income, but it just isn’t worth the trade-off of no privacy, not only with TLC cameras, but the paparazzi, during an especially sensitive time. Yes, they will still be recognized everywhere for years to come, but less and less as they resume their life as an IT tech and nurse. Viewers will indulge in a new obsession, eventually.

Overall, I truly feel awful for the Gosselin family right now, regardless of their past actions, whether they be true or false. Divorce is devastating, and I sincerely hope they can avoid it and make their marriage work. My hope is that their kids truly do come first, and because of that, they would be willing to step out of the spotlight, even if that means forever.

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So, what do you think they should do? What were your thoughts about the premiere?

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36 comments so far

Add Yours

I sooooo totally age with your statement “doing what is best for the kids” would be focusing on their marriage and trying to salvage what they can.

And I totaly agree that the show should be cancelled. but obiously Kate feels that the show is not the problem-but I feel Jon does-I feel she needs to quit thinking of herself and the MONEY” from the show and truley focus on her husband and children- didn’t they just renue their vows to show their children that they would never divorce?

Twitter Id (cutepeafreebes)

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cutepea
May 26th, 2009
I think it's fascinating that we are all so fascinated by Jon & Kate. There was great discussion this morning on The Today Show and I think most moms truly feel sad about the effect of the tension on the children. Like most of America, I hope these parents are able to work things out.

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The Work/Life Balancing Act
May 26th, 2009
cutepea- I also thought about how they renewed their vows last season. I wondered if the idea was encouraged by the producers and they went along for the ride. I could have also been an attempt to “spark” their relationship. Either way, it was strange to renew their vows, then a few months later talk about divorce.

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Amy {Mom Spark/Mom Made That!}
May 26th, 2009
I too am a fan of J&K+8 and am saddened by this whole situation. I'm not certain that the fact that they allow their lives to be documented means that they should necessarily then just have to deal with the papparazzi hounding them and their personal lives being smeared in the tabloids. I read in one piece that Kate regularly "trashed" her husband – the example they gave was that in an interview she said "he has made poor choices." Sorry, but where I come from pointing out that someone has made a bad choice isn't the same as "trashing."

Yes, Kate can be a bit much – and yes, Jon can be distant – but really, who is perfect? And I'm sure they knew these things about each other – but with the media blowing EVERYTHING out of proportion, what should we expect. I feel that we as a society are destroying this family and this wonderful show.

I certainly hope that they can work things out. And I sincerely hope that we can accept the generous gift of seeing their lives each week in a way that makes sense for their family and small children instead of feeling the need to bash them as tabloid fodder.

Twitter ID: pineapplebabble

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PineappleBabble
May 26th, 2009
I haven’t seen every eposiode, but I agree with all your points here. There was a lot of hurt between the two of them, and what killed me is that they didn’t REALLY face each other. I mean if that were Matt and I in that situation, I would look at him and tell him that I want to make it work between us, and not just for the kids. Like Kate said, it wasn’t supposed to be like this. I feel like they don’t communicate with each other effectively and never have. Kate has always been hard on Jon and Jon has always stepped down and taken it, becoming more and more distant every season, and then I start to notice that Kate gets more and more angry because there is a distance between them that shouldn’t be there.

I too think they should back away from the show, if not for a couple seasons, to work on their marriage and their life as a family.

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Sarcastica
May 26th, 2009
You took the words right out of my mouth. Just about to write some of my own feelings on all of this on my blog when I saw the title of yours.
I found myself on the J&K facebook fan page today wondering what to say. I wanted to react and say something really smart as in smart to help, to aide them in keeping this relationship alive. Then I quickly clicked on my homepage to leave their fan page. I felt like a TLC or reality show nerd. What I wanted to tell them – if they even care – is that I am praying for them. It may seem silly and some might think I am a little twisted for caring to, but truly I pray for them.
I also noticed in the season opener, that Kate actually seemed a little humbled and not as hard as I have seen her before. I appreciated Jon's reaction to their relationship – meaning I appreciated what he said about it being between him and Kate. It seems that something is still sacred between the two of them. Hopefully it is enough.

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Anonymous
May 26th, 2009
Just read that there were 9.8 million viewers last night, HOLY COW. http://momspark.blogspot.com/2009/05/jon-kate-plus-8-drama-my-thoughts-and.html

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Amy {Mom Spark/Mom Made That!}
May 26th, 2009
I just finished watching last night’s show. I’ve watched since July of 2007. It was a rerun of Kate’s tummy tuck episode. (The things I remember.)

I think the whole thing is incredibly sad. All of it.

They could quit doing the show, and, perhaps the problem would go away. But, perhaps it wouldn’t. If the show hadn’t happened, they could be “going in two different directions” over any number of things. The really hard thing is that they’re doing it on t.v.

Again, it’s all sad.

I wish them and the kids the best.

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Rebecca
May 27th, 2009
I completely agree with you. I watch the show because their lives made mine seem a bit easier (even though she had an easier time potty training 6 kids than I did my one!).

But as soon as they started getting special treatment and moved into their million dollar home, I started to feel like I could not relate.

It is sad and I hope they can work it out. And I think they should stop the show for the sake of their family.

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Coma Girl
May 27th, 2009
TLC should be ashamed of themselves. As soon as splitting up started being mentioned, they should have cancelled the show. To whore the family out (highest ratings EVER last night… it beat LOST’s finale!) during a time of family crisis is dispicable.

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Adopting1Soon
May 27th, 2009
I have to admit that this show I’ve only experienced second hand through my addicted friends and a few episodes here and there. I’m not a fan of reality TV because so much of it is staged. The few times I saw the show, Kate was being bossy and rude to John about something so meaningless that I just could not watch. So I wonder if the whole thing about his activities are even real or staged to get those ratings to go back up or if he was just fed up and needed someone to talk to him not at him for a change.

I mostly disliked the fact that they might not say what they really mean or want to say because they know the camera’s are watching. Sometimes I put myself in their shoes and I know there are a lot of things I say to my husband that I would never say in front of millions of people – especially in the heat of a fight or disagreement.

I do hope that if this is the real thing that they at least take a break from the show to fix their marriage for the sake of the kids. Give “real life” a chance.

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Yira
May 27th, 2009
Thank you for this post! I have had them on my heart all day after seeing that episode last night. I just kept thinking about her book and then a friend reminded me of the episode in Hawaii when the renewed their vowels… it is just sad.

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Felicia
May 27th, 2009
I’m such a fan of the show. I watched last night feeling terrible for both Jon and Kate because we could “feel” the tension between them, especially at the party.

Clearly there are problems, both admitted it and discussed it in round about ways. Because there were no previews for future episodes, I wonder if they will go on a hiatus or a not.

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Allison M.
May 27th, 2009
I actually only saw one episode of the show and it totally stressed me out, so I never did it again. It’s hard to say whether the cameras did their marriage in, but most likely it accelerated the process. They had such opposite views when it came to the show that it probably drove them right apart. And I feel so bad for all those kids. If they are truly irreconcilable, they really need to shut down the cameras and handle it in private.

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Angela
May 27th, 2009
I thought Kate almost had the deer in the headlights look. Like she didn’t see this coming at all. You could almost see the hurt in her eyes. However, from Jon body language, I thought it looked like he was just done. Plus, who buys a sports car when you have 8 kids?

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Lisa
May 27th, 2009
I wrote a post last night after the show. I share your opinion that maybe now it’s time to step away from the show to deal with their problems. They could always come back to it, as a couple or as a single parent.

Oh, and I cried watching last night.

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jenn
May 27th, 2009
Our family has watched J&K+8 since the beginning. Surprisingly, it's one of the only shows my now 6 year old enjoys watching with me. I felt like the family was relateble, down to earth and if they could do it with 8 kids, I could certainly handle it with just one!

Kate has always been hard on Jon and even though I would never treat my husband the way she treated Jon, I've always thought, but I don't have the stress of 8 children so I can't even imagine what that must be like. I'm not in that situation so I don't know how I would react. It's the whole "walk a mile in someone else's shoes" thing.

With that being said, you can tell the dynamic between Jon and Kate has changed since last season. If you watch the old episodes there was a lot of hugging and kissing between the two of them and they used to sit close on the interview chair with their legs crossed towards each other. Now they don't even get near each other on camera and sit as far away from each other on the chair as possible. It's very sad.

I watched the season premiere and all I kept wanting to scream at the TV was "OMG tell each other you love each other still! You can work this out! It's not too late!" Granted, we have no idea what's happened behind closed doors but I just felt like they were both being too stubborn to just admit they don't want to give up on the marriage. It was like Kate was too stubborn and hurt to admit she needs him in her life still and Jon was too hurt and upset from being beaten down all these years to admit he wants to stay. He wants her to admit it first I think.

All in all, a very, very sad and depressing episode. I feel so bad for them and I hope they realize they're making a big mistake before it's too late!

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Andrea
May 27th, 2009
I agree that I wanted to see them work on their marriage. I mean, I know some of this was taped so who knows what is happening now, but I just wanted to see some effort to say “We still love each other.” It’s only been 10 years of marriage for them and a lot has happened in those ten years. More than most families. The whole thing was so sad and depressing. I kept thinking about it all last night. Isn’t that silly? Yet, I feel like I “know” them and want them to work it out. I live about three to four hours from where they do, sort of know the area, and feel close to them, so to speak. I guess all I can do is pray.

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Lisa (Jonny's Mommy)
May 27th, 2009
I’ve seen just about every episode and I agree with you as to why it’s so popular. I think that they (Jon and Kate) have really changed a lot since the beginning. It’s pretty obvious if you watch some of the shows from previous seasons. They seemed to be just a family enjoying doing family stuff and just happened to be on camera. Now it does seem like more of a “show”.

After watching the season premiere I couldn’t sleep. It was so sad. I pray that they will focus on each other. I really believe that if you truly want to do what is best for your kids you’ll put your spouse first. I’ve never known any families where divorce has been beneficial for the kids.

I truly hope that they will not give up and get some help (if they haven’t already). I think it would be best for them to end the show (I kinda hoped they would after the season finale when Jon made it pretty clear he wanted it to be over).

I’m praying for their marriage and family.

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myra
May 27th, 2009
Very good post! I could NOT agree more about working out their marriage as being the very best solution. As a child growing up in a home where we all knew our parents hated each other but loved us, I can say it was horrible. Kids know and kids are smart. After years of unhappiness and an inevitable divorce, I would have preferred two happier, healthier divorced parents than two angry, bitter married ones.

Marriage is hard.

I’m my opinion, Kate really sold out. I think all Jon wanted was for her to choose him and the family first and be willing to give up the fame and fortune. You can see that he feels strong-armed into the whole thing, like she cares more about the money than him. He’s not perfect, but don’t men want respect and to be “it” in their wive’s eyes? Just my two cents!

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Nicole
May 27th, 2009
I think a lot of ppl are hypocrites because at first everyone loved Jon and Kate plus 8 especially Kate.But when the going got tough everyone jumped ship and left this couple to drown!Everyone loved Kate and now? Well she was a great Mom right she had all these kids a husband she had to direct all the time because he was so non-chalant about it all and that didn’t get the wash done or the kids fed,so we didn’t mind her getting a little pushy with him right? And now she is terrible,mean,controlling a real $#^%$ right?Even her own brother is talking and i just wonder if he and his wife Aunt Jody are getting paid for all there inside info? And there biggest beef?Money!Go figure.Honestly ppl what would you think if your brother did this to you?No matter what you did would you want a family member giving the world a negative interview about you even if it was the truth but an embarassing truth?I loved the Jon and Kate plus 8 show,i am sad to see all this ugliness and you know i never thought Kate did it all because she told us about all the ppl that helped her and how she could not have done it without them..Really ppl look at how much all the negative stuff peaked our interest and lined so many’s pockets with money.So why down Kate and Jon for making money?Hypocrites…

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monalisa
May 27th, 2009
monalisa- I think most people really do feel for them and want to see the best for their family. There are probably a few who don’t care, but it seems as if most do.

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Amy {Mom Spark/Mom Made That!}
May 27th, 2009
Your thoughts are exactly how I feel, too! I’ve seen some really mean, negative thoughts about them in the blog world this week and I think it’s awful. Maybe there are things they could have done differently but they are not bad or uncaring people. I also think the best thing they can do is end the show and start working on piecing their life back together. Great thoughts!!

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Henry
May 27th, 2009
Really we all have to commend Jon and Kate. Statistically parents of multiples do not survive the first year of their child’s lives. I know, I have lived through the grueling pain and trials and tribulations of adjusting your life to multiples. I thought life was hard with just one and then I added two more….rough! No one can imagine what they go through, not even me and I have multiples.

I so wish them the best as people, no one should ever wish this upon even their worst enemy. Personally I see the whole sports car thing with Jon as a way to find his own self as Kate has with her writings, plus he is probably going through what most 30 something men do which is “What the hell?” My husband is going through it, he is shopping for sports cars…its s phase. They either buy in or they move on. Either way they are trying to find a happy place because everything else is out of control.

I have yet to watch the premiere, I have it DVR’d, but I am a respected fan and have read Kate’s books. I pray they get through this, I know watching their show puts light on my life with multiples.

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Mrs. Fish: aka Two Fish
May 27th, 2009
Good article! I JUST started watching the show over the weekend because of the marathon and had some thoughts of my own I shared here:

http://www.bettyconfidential.com/ar/ld/a/End-for-Jon-and-Kate-Gosselin.html

I think you and I agree that they need to stop thinking of themselves and start thinking of their kids!

[Reply]

MaNiC MoMMy™
May 27th, 2009
Have you guys seen the latest interview with Kate’s brother, Kevin, and his wife, Jodi? Here is the link from enews:

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b126045_kates_brother_next_in_line_sell_out.html

They seem genuinely concerned for the children, but are they accepting cash for these interviews?

It’s really hard to know what to believe…

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Amy {Mom Spark/Mom Made That!}
May 27th, 2009
Mrs. Fish – I appreciate the perspective from a parent with multiples. I cannot imagine the stress it has on a couple, I mean, one baby can do that! I agree that we should really take that into consideration when we see Kate fly off the handle or Jon blank out.

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Amy {Mom Spark/Mom Made That!}
May 27th, 2009
Hi. I got an email to come check out this entry. I have VERY strong feelings about this, but I won’t spam your comment box with it. I could go on and on. I’ll sign with the URL to my blog entry about it, if you want to read my thoughts.

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Sara Bonds @ Ordinary and Awesome
May 28th, 2009
Hi, I too have watched Jon&K +8 frequently in the past few years–I enjoyed watching the children grow up, and I enjoyed some of J&K's discussions and interactions—I had noticed the tension increase in the last episodes and I think that is when Kate started getting angrier at Jon; I feel that Jon is saddened and embarassed at being caught in a questionable situation and making it look like it is Kate's fault because of how she talks to him—he is responsible for his own actions–there is no excuse for a guy going to a bar to pick up girls–if he wanted a break from Kate and his family he could have found a multitude of other activities —he is good with sports —he could have gone golfing, skiing or whatever else he liked and it would not have created such chaos—If you noticed, he is not always sweet to Kate either–
I do hope they find a way to correct and heal their pain—they both look very sad—I can't imagine how Jon will be able to afford child support payments if they divorce—I don't think he has thought that far.

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Anonymous
May 28th, 2009
I think they should take a break from the show or stop it all together. Why not just come back once a year to give people who love the show a yearly up date on how the kids are doing and how big they have gotten.
As for the marrage I really do think they should see someone and try and work it out. It will be hard on te kids and I really do think Kate should look at pass shows and see how she does treat Jon. I am not saying it all her but at the same time she be littles Jon always on the show or things have to be done or way or know way at all. Maybe she need to see someone for her self also, she is too up tight and yes I can understand why but at the same time when the kids see her do that to there father they are going to think to start doing it to him as they get older if she doesn’t stop.

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Anonymous
May 28th, 2009
I have not really watched any of the shows, but can not help but get caught up in all the drama going on. I truly feel that they need to withdaraw from the public eye and work on their marriage. Both have issues that they need to work on…but the kids in my mind should be FIRST!!! I think that the children are falling through the cracks and will suffer for it down the road. I hope they can work through it!

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Randomly Elly
May 28th, 2009
I’ve been a huge fan from the beginning–and all I felt when I watched this episode was deep sadness. The body language, the avoidance, the sadness, the anger–I wanted to reach out and shake them and tell them to keep working and trying on their marriage. Jon needs to grow up and Kate needs to forgive–we’ve all been there, too, I just hope for their own sakes, not just just the kids, that they make the effort to work it out.

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Charlene
May 28th, 2009
Great discussion! I think I’ve seen almost every episode and I too feel completely involved. While I was watching the season premiere all I kept thinking was “PLEASE let them be in therapy”.

My take on Jon and Kate has always been that they got married very young without truly knowing each other first, immediately had kids and we all know if you don’t establish a strong bond as a couple, it’s that much more difficult once kids come in. I also think that they both have anger issues: Kate lashes out inappropriately with both Jon and her kids and Jon suppresses his anger which makes him want to leave.

I feel if they could learn how to communicate and hear each other in a loving, RESPECTFUL way, they could make it. They both obviously love their children, and I really think they love each other.

If that doesn’t work, I think they should build another house on their property and live separately but have equal access to their kids.

Thanks!

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Mrs. Mandy
May 29th, 2009
I have been a fan of Jon & Kate Plus 8 since the beginning as well. I remember the very first special that TLC ran on them, and I have been hooked ever since. Although I have never agreed with the way that Kate has talked to Jon, almost like he was a child, in the beginning episodes you could still see that they had love for each other.

I do agree that we, as viewers, get a weird sense of “I feel like I know them” from watching them every week in our livingrooms. Having gone through a divorce myself, I don’t wish that kind of experience on anyone.

I feel as if Kate may have let fame go to her head a little too much. Although if I was in her situation, after having eight kids, I too would jump on the opportunity to get a tummy tuck. But the teeth whitening and Jon’s hair plugs, which to me looked as if he only did it to appease Kate, are a little bit too much.

I no longer am able to relate to them. I use to be able to sit back and feel not so bad about my not so perfect parenting skills because I saw that other parents didn’t do things so perfectly either. Now, with the trips to all over and the staged scenes, I no longer feel drawn to the family as a whole. I am now drawn to just the children.

I feel as if stepping back from the show would do the family, and Jon and Kate’s relationship, some good. It would give them time to focus on what should really be important to them.

That’s just my two cents.

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Shynea @ Penny Pinching Diva
May 29th, 2009
Here’s the thing: The parents seem addicted to their new lifestyle, so addicted that the million dollar home, many spa trips, etc, appear to be too much to let go. Kate came out and said it all comes down to a deep desire to provide for her children. If she feels that her earnings are a way for her to give her babies what she never had growing up, which is what most parents strive for, then she’s not turning back.
Really…I don’t know I would either. We can all say, as moms, we would shut the show down and work out our marriages, but what if they did? Do they have enough to live now or does she eventually face going back to nursing and just being a mom of 8 kids? Can she just do that? Being raised with little money I understand her pain and thats a huge thing to let go.
As for the marriage, those 2 may have divorced regardless, the fame just appeared to weaken what was already breaking.

I need to say I agree 100% with your post and I get picked on constantly from my own husband for watching the show. I also felt like at one point I could relate, I live not far away from their town, and it was amusing watching them go the same amusement parks, zoo’s and restaurants I have also bickered with my own husband at about our misbehaving children. Not anymore…I cant afford to fly to Utah a couple times a year to go skiing So I lost interest as well.
Along with what you said, its sad that ratings actually went up when ppl caught wind they were falling to pieces and not because we are interested moms learning how she handles her great responsibilities so we can feel better or learn a thing or two from them.
Reality is, alot of ppl divorce now a days, and though we don’t wish it on their family, that’s more like reality tv. Anyone who has been divorced with kids will understand what I’m saying.
Pretty soon we will be watching Jon to see if he shows up for visitation or if he’s too busy with his 20 year old gf and hungover to give a darn.
Whether she was hard on him or not, I really feel for Kate and the kids. Ive been standing alone without family, my husband ran off and left me holding the broken pieces, and I came apart. Thankfully we made it all work. Pray for her and the kids

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Danielle
Jun 15th, 2009
Really I suppose we should pray for the babies the most. Those poor little guys didnt have a choice about their growing up and parents dirty laundry being aired on national television. Divorce is hard for any family. They obviously have to face more then that.

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Danielle
Jun 15th, 2009