Oldie, but goodie from 2008:
No, we don’t celebrate Santa.Yes, we do celebrate Christmas.
Do we care if you celebrate Santa? Nope.
Do you care if we choose not to? Yes.
Of course, I am generalizing when I say “you”. I’m sure many of “you” have no problem with our decision, and maybe even practice it yourself. I just haven’t met you yet. I am generalizing because MOST of the reactions I get from strangers, friends, and some family members are of shock and disappointment. Most of the time I don’t even bring it up, and just smile and nod when the sweet stranger at the store asks my youngest, “Are you ready for Santa?”
You’re probably wondering why we don’t celebrate Santa, huh?First, let me say that we do not discriminate against those who choose to do Santa, The Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Superman, etc., it’s just not our thing.
Why?
Remember, this is just our opinion, and you have the right to yours, as well. We think investing, believing and hyping something to the point of calling it real, but is in fact not real at all, isn’t necessary for our children. We think that a child’s imagination and wonder can still be stimulated without these beliefs. That is all. We don’t freak out if our kids see Santa movies or memorabilia-we just teach them that he’s a made-up character, just like Batman or Donald Duck. Our nine year old still gets just as excited as any other kid on Christmas day, even though he knows we bought the presents. Presents are pretty darn cool all by themselves. I think Santa is so buried into America’s traditions and way of life, that we do not question why we do it and feel obligated to partake in the experience.
Why?
Remember, this is just our opinion, and you have the right to yours, as well. We think investing, believing and hyping something to the point of calling it real, but is in fact not real at all, isn’t necessary for our children. We think that a child’s imagination and wonder can still be stimulated without these beliefs. That is all. We don’t freak out if our kids see Santa movies or memorabilia-we just teach them that he’s a made-up character, just like Batman or Donald Duck. Our nine year old still gets just as excited as any other kid on Christmas day, even though he knows we bought the presents. Presents are pretty darn cool all by themselves. I think Santa is so buried into America’s traditions and way of life, that we do not question why we do it and feel obligated to partake in the experience.
I wonder, why do we get the reaction from others that we do? Why do so many take it so hard? Why is it a requirement to celebrate Santa and am I really harming my children by not doing so?
Maybe you can enlighten me. Do you celebrate Santa and why? OR do you choose not to celebrate Santa and other imaginary characters and why?
Show me some love folks.
Maybe you can enlighten me. Do you celebrate Santa and why? OR do you choose not to celebrate Santa and other imaginary characters and why?
Show me some love folks.
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I LOVE this post and especially the fact that you are gracious toward those who may do things differently!!!
We never really made a thing out of Santa. When our kids got old enough to ask, we simply asked “What do YOU think?” and they, in turn, responded that they didn’t think he was real. All we had to do was give them a wink of affirmation and that was that.
I did, however, get a call once from an angry mother demanding that my son tell her children that Santa was real after the kids had had a playground chat on the subject and mine revealed his recent conclusion. I thought that was taking it a bit too far, and had to tell her no. Then this chick said that she had already PAID a guy to walk around outside of her house in a Santa suit at midnight on Christmas so she could wake her kids and drag them to the window to see him!! and that we were RUINING their Christmas!!!
My response was “BAHAhahahahahahaha!!!”
Anyway, I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say Well Done!!
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We don’t do Santa, the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny. We are teaching our toddler that these are make-believe characters and that people like to pretend. We ARE teaching her the story of the real person Saint Nicholas who inspired the make-believe Santa.
I am starting to do the smile-and-nod thing too when people ask if our daughter is ready for Santa. I hate it but if it’s a stranger, why bother taking the time to explain? If it’s someone we know, then I might take the time, depends on how snarky I’m feeling!
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Amy, I grew up in a family who celebrated Santa but my husband and I decided when we had kids that we would let them know the true meaning of Christmas, plus the real story behind Santa (who he was based on and that spirit of giving to others) and although we do “pretend” Santa, our kids have always known the truth. They are both teenagers now but when they were little we did visit Santa at the mall and did pretend he was coming Christmas Eve but they knew it was pretend, just like the ToothFairy and Easter Bunny. We’ve gone through some of the same questioning and people thinking we were weird, but why be normal, LOL? I have never looked down on or judged others for letting their kids believe Santa or any of the other characters were real. I don’t believe my kids have missed out by knowing the truth. We focus more on the true meaning of Christmas and giving to others but still enjoy the magic of pretending too.
I think the treasure chest and clues to hunt for it sound like a very fun tradition! Your sons will grow up with fond memories of it, I’m sure.
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I don’t know why people take it so hard. They must fear that they’re being judged. I think if a person’s immediate reaction is defensiveness, they usually aren’t really mad at you, but at being caught off guard with an opinion they hadn’t considered yet.
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Amy Reply:
November 22nd, 2009 at 4:36 pm
Cindy- I think, for the most part, that is usually the case. I never judge anyone who celebrates Santa, but sometimes they assume I do.
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I grew up beleeving in Santa. It didn’t make me a materialistic kid because my parents explained that I couldn’t get everything on my list because there wouldn’t be anything left for the other kids Santa visited. My parents were also mindful to teach me that Santa and the relgious part of the season were separate and that the relgious part is why we really do all that we do.
My brother & sister in law where the first people I knew that didn’t do Santa for their kids. I was OK with it. They are their kids after all and I can warp then in other ways later.
I’m a little sad that we don’t do stocking with that side of the family. I like coming up wtih stocking stuffer ideas. So my husband and I do it for ourselves and our dog. Only since we are a house of grownups Santa leaves things like bottles of liquer and brandy in our stockings. Yay Santa!
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My husband wanted to go the Santa route, but I was raised to know the real meaning of Christmas early. We compromised. We told the kids about Santa, but left many clues that Santa wasn’t real. When they called me on it, I told them that “believing” in Santa was part of the deal or “Santa” might not come.
Now my boys are teens and each year at Christmas, they smile, ask me to tell Santa what is on their wish list, and wink. It’s a lot of fun.
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We celebrate, but we are upfront with our kids about the fact that it is fantasy and make-believe. We do let them know than many kids believe it’s real, and to keep it a secret.
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It’s great to hear all of the different opinions since I’ve never really met anyone that didn’t want to teach their kids about Santa. My family grew up in a non-traditional home, traveling a lot, never having a core group of kids, so it was unlikely that we would hear Santa stories and impossible for Santa to bring presents to us in the traditional manner. I remember shattering someone’s Santa dreams once. It was devastating for them. As for my children, this is something pretty important to me as I don’t want to lie to them about anything. There is still so much love, magic, & joy in Christmas without Santa, I don’t believe we need him. It will be a quite a battle though as my guy completely disagrees.
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Thank you for this post and thread. I found you while I was googling info on how NOT to tell your kids about Santa. I am pregnant with our first child, and my husband and I really don’t want to do the Santa schtick. (My husband hated that his parents had lied to him, even after he had confronted them that Santa wasn’t real, and I hated being crushed when I found out he wasn’t; I cried for a long time and felt like Christmas had been ruined.) But I have never met anyone else who doesn’t follow the Santa tradition. Reading everyone’s comments made me feel less alone and gave me some ideas on how to handle the situation later on. Thank you!
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Amy Bellgardt Reply:
December 21st, 2009 at 7:19 pm
You are not alone. I was so surprised after I wrote this article that so many were living the same as us. I don’t think anyone should feel forced or obligated to celebrate Santa if they don’t wish to, you know?
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That’s funny, I just posted the same type of thing about not doing the Santa thing! It’s true, people think it’s weird, but we don’t care. My kids will straight up tell a stranger Santa is not a real person and look at them like they are crazy. LOL
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Amy Bellgardt Reply:
December 21st, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Ha! Well, my son keeps to himself about Santa. He knows some families participate, so he’s very quiet about it.
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I don’t teach my daughter Santa either. It’s a religious thing for me because I don’t want to confuse her. I don’t want to tell her hey there’s a Jesus and there’s a Santa and they’re both very similar, yet one isn’t real. She sees it on the Christmas shows, etc but, I don’t teach it to her and frankly I don’t understand why so many Christians do it either? It’s prob because they always did it? I don’t discriminate but, I see what you’re saying about others having a prob with you not doing it. I get stink eye here and there.
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Amy Bellgardt Reply:
December 21st, 2009 at 7:23 pm
Yeah, same here. It is a weird message to send, in my opinion, too. (about Jesus vs. Santa) I think Santa, in some ways, is more for the parents than the children! It may make us adults feel like children ourselves? I dunno. To be honest, I look at Christmas as more of a worldly holiday, and I am a Christian. There is no commandment in the Bible saying we should celebrate Christ’s birth- it was something we created.
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Well, I can totally relate to the way you feel, I mean, what’s to celebrate about Santa, first of all!
I have to kids, and both of them know that Santa is a made-up character (who takes credit for the gifts I buy with a lot effort). Our children are very creative and very imaginative they don’t need
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My girls “know” Santa and when they get older we will tell them about St. Nicholas, the actual person who inspired the story of Santa. They have both actually been to St. Nicholas’ grave so hopefully we can make the distinction that one was real and one was fiction easily.
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I believed in Santa when I was a child it was exciting. It became mysterious as I got into school and started to question it. I think I kept it till I was 9.Then did not care about Santa till I had my own kids and just naturally gave it to them. I even used it as leverage to get them to behave. At 27 I became a clown in parades and parties. I enjoyed making kids laugh. But clowns are really scarey to a lot of folks( tough Job). Not even thinking of Santa. One day at a Jaycee Christmas function their Santa did not show and I was asked to put on the Suit for the first time. There was about 200 kids k-2nd grade. I was reluctant because i know i’m fake and everything is just taped on. What a disappointment if I fell apart in front of all those kids.But it worked and the look those kids gave me as Santa just warmed my heart.Some were happy some were nervous, some could not think of what to ask for some had lists.so many mixed feelings. but mostly joy.I’ve been doing it ever since
33 years. Now I wear a long white beard that is real. I selfishly perpetuate the lie. Because I still get those wonderful looks of amazment and wonder I got 33 years ago. The world is just filled with hardships whats the harm of making fond memories that get passed through families for generations. But I agree it is not for everyone. If I didn’t get the opportunity I did 33 years ago,perhaps I wouldn’t care either.As for the non believers when they ask if i’m the real. I tell them that it is for them to decide.The kids can really come up with some great stuff on their own.Today Madison Avenue wants us all to believe!
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