We Don’t Celebrate Santa – Sue Me
Oldie, but goodie from 2008:
No, we don’t celebrate Santa.Yes, we do celebrate Christmas.
Do we care if you celebrate Santa? Nope.
Do you care if we choose not to? Yes.
Of course, I am generalizing when I say “you”. I’m sure many of “you” have no problem with our decision, and maybe even practice it yourself. I just haven’t met you yet. I am generalizing because MOST of the reactions I get from strangers, friends, and some family members are of shock and disappointment. Most of the time I don’t even bring it up, and just smile and nod when the sweet stranger at the store asks my youngest, “Are you ready for Santa?”
You’re probably wondering why we don’t celebrate Santa, huh?First, let me say that we do not discriminate against those who choose to do Santa, The Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Superman, etc., it’s just not our thing.
Why?
Remember, this is just our opinion, and you have the right to yours, as well. We think investing, believing and hyping something to the point of calling it real, but is in fact not real at all, isn’t necessary for our children. We think that a child’s imagination and wonder can still be stimulated without these beliefs. That is all. We don’t freak out if our kids see Santa movies or memorabilia-we just teach them that he’s a made-up character, just like Batman or Donald Duck. Our nine year old still gets just as excited as any other kid on Christmas day, even though he knows we bought the presents. Presents are pretty darn cool all by themselves. I think Santa is so buried into America’s traditions and way of life, that we do not question why we do it and feel obligated to partake in the experience.
Why?
Remember, this is just our opinion, and you have the right to yours, as well. We think investing, believing and hyping something to the point of calling it real, but is in fact not real at all, isn’t necessary for our children. We think that a child’s imagination and wonder can still be stimulated without these beliefs. That is all. We don’t freak out if our kids see Santa movies or memorabilia-we just teach them that he’s a made-up character, just like Batman or Donald Duck. Our nine year old still gets just as excited as any other kid on Christmas day, even though he knows we bought the presents. Presents are pretty darn cool all by themselves. I think Santa is so buried into America’s traditions and way of life, that we do not question why we do it and feel obligated to partake in the experience.
I wonder, why do we get the reaction from others that we do? Why do so many take it so hard? Why is it a requirement to celebrate Santa and am I really harming my children by not doing so?
Maybe you can enlighten me. Do you celebrate Santa and why? OR do you choose not to celebrate Santa and other imaginary characters and why?
Show me some love folks.
Maybe you can enlighten me. Do you celebrate Santa and why? OR do you choose not to celebrate Santa and other imaginary characters and why?
Show me some love folks.
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posted on November 9, 2009 in Amy's Blog, Family, Holidays & Events
tags children, children beliefs, Christmas, don't believe in Santa, don't celebrate Santa, don't teach Santa, holiday traditions, holidays, kids, Santa, Santa Claus, St. Nick, traditions
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tags children, children beliefs, Christmas, don't believe in Santa, don't celebrate Santa, don't teach Santa, holiday traditions, holidays, kids, Santa, Santa Claus, St. Nick, traditions
share Digg This! | Share on Facebook | del.icio.us
I totally respect your choice and completely understand why you do it. We do celebrate Santa and often wonder since so many people don’t anymore, If those kids will tell my kid the truth about Santa. Are you going to tell your kids to keep the secret to themselves?
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Dec 12th, 2008
Oh, and we let Jake believe because its fun to believe. And we aren’t religious. Maybe If we were things would be different. We are teaching Jake that Christmas is a time to share and do good things for others, that everyone has an obligation to give presents to those in need, not necessarily to friends and family. Jake gets one present for Santa, but has had a part in giving dozens to charities and needy families this year.
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Dec 12th, 2008
I love your post…it’s great. Yeah, I fall into the trap of telling my kids about Santa. My fifteen year old knows the truth and is fine with letting the little ones beleive otherwise.
By the time my kids reach an older age (around 10 or so) we do let them in on the whole “santa isn’t real” bit, but for now, I let them think that he is (at least for a little while).
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Dec 12th, 2008
I’m with you on this one. We’ve always had a bit of Santa in our Christmas, but the kids have known from the beginning that he wasn’t real.
If I hype a lie for many years with my kids and then “reveal the truth” I wonder what they think of my integrity in other areas.
We have Santa on our tree, we have Santa decorations, we read “Twas the Night Before Christmas” on Christmas Eve, but the kids have known from the “get go” that he’s not real. That way, we can have fun, and enjoy his jolly character without my own integrity being compromised.
Oh, and for Lora’s sake, yes, we do tell our kids to not blab to other kids that he’s not real. If they’re asked directly, we’ve taught them that the correct response is along the lines of “Well, we don’t believe in him in our family. We just believe he’s a made-up character. Other families have different beliefs, and that’s ok”
Darlene
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Dec 12th, 2008
What a great post!! In our family, we do “believe” in Santa, and that was my choice. I have always loved the “Magic” that goes along with Christmas, and to me, “Santa” is a big part of that. Now, that being said…DH’s brother and his kids do not believe in Santa, and they know that Santa is a made up Character. Part of that is the kids mom is Dutch and they celebrate Sinte Claus who brings cakes and cookies, no toys. The other part is that when DH and his brother were small, they believed in Santa, but the BIL found out Santa wasn’t real he realized his parents had been lying to him his whole life and has never really trusted them since. (Even to this day) They do explain to them that other kids do believe and it’s not nice to tell them otherwise!
Again, Great Post!!!
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Dec 12th, 2008
I forgot to add that our oldest (the second is only one) never talks about it at school or to other kids. He knows that some families believe in Santa, so he respects that.
I agree that Christmas should not be centered around gift getting anyway, but that in itself is a whole other post!
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Dec 12th, 2008
We do Santa…but I have NO problem if you or anyone else doesnt! I’m not sure why it should matter.
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Dec 12th, 2008
Dee-It may have to do with the area of the country I’m in. The locals are hard-core Santa believers, especially the oldsters. I don’t even think my grandma knows my little secret.
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Dec 12th, 2008
You’re right, Santa is a made up character that really is unneccasary. It makes me made that I have to create someone who doesn’t exist for all the work that I’ve done… working to get the money, working to spend the money (the holidays bring out the bad side of people, especially their driving) and on that very special day, I don’t get the credit for all the work and not to mention, all the thought and love I put into putting together that Christmas morning where they are all smiles…
I think the hype is about an on going tradition… I feel compelled to write To: Avy From:Santa just because that’s how I grew up, but seriously, all the hard work I’ve done this year, and years to come, do you think I will put “From:Santa”???? HELL NO!!!
I want my children to know that these presents, wrapped so nicely for them, sitting under the nicely decorated tree, with all the love in the world, to know that Mommy and Daddy worked hard for them to have a special Christmas…
I support your belief 110%…
[Reply]
Dec 12th, 2008
sdrake: Ha, I never thought of it that way before. Instead of “sticking it to the man” we can “stick it to Santa!”
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Dec 12th, 2008
We are among the believers and have been since the beginning. For us, it’s fun because the girls enjoy it so much. I have no problem with anyone not believing though. The oldest doesn’t believe, but the youngest is right on the verge. My oldest loves to play it up and she has never once told her sister he’s not real.
Besides, when all is said and done, Santa is really in your heart. He is filled with kindness, and a sense of giving as well as receiving. We are religious, but we still believe.
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Dec 12th, 2008
Thanks for this post! I recently compiled an e-book called Saving Christmas, that helps families rediscover the simple pleasures of Christmas. The contributors to the e-book had fantastic ideas on how to move away from the glitter and gifts, and refocus on what really matters at Christmas
When I was growing up, my family didn’t celebrate Santa, for many of the reasons you mentioned. With our first child, we didn’t celebrate Santa either.
I got a lot of criticism from other parents for making that choice. Some of them still try to convince me we’re depriving our kids by not celebrating Santa.
Our younger child did believe for a while. When she was a preschooler, we had a dayhome and all the kids who came believed in Santa – so it was just easier to let her believe as well, though we didn’t make a big deal about it.
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Dec 12th, 2008
thanks for sharing, we also don’t do santa. we get a lot of flack about it, especially from one set of grandparents. for us, its a spiritual choice. if i tell my kids for years that santa is real (whom they can “see”, at the mall, etc) and then one day tell them he’s pretend: then what’s to make them believe me that Jesus is real, whom they can’t see? my kids still like to put out cookies and carrots christmas eve, we have santa decorations, we tell them they have to hurry to bed so their presents will come, but they know it’s all for fun but not real. they also know NOT to tell other kids. we’ve told them if another kid asks them they are to say “all families are different, you should ask your parents”. at our big family gathering, santa always comes to pass out gifts. my kids are the only cousins that don’t believe but thankfully they’ve never given it away!
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Dec 12th, 2008
Our views are identical!
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Dec 12th, 2008
Santa is based on a real person, St. Nicholas, a martyred bishop from Turkey during the 2nd Century. However, we support the whole Santa Claus thing because both Michael and I have great memories of the feeling of magic and wonder in the sudden appearance of presents under the tree in the morning. Of course, Isabel also believes that all the characters at Disney World are real. I don’t diss people for their parenting choices and I hope I’ve never said anything to make you think we judge your choice.
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Dec 12th, 2008
Jen-No, you’ve never said anything to me about it. You’re one of the few Oklahomans who hasn’t harassed me over it.
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Dec 12th, 2008
themrs-I totally agree with the point about having doubts about believing something they can’t see once they know the truth.
Not sure if that sentence made sense, but you get the point.
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Dec 12th, 2008
We’re a Santa family. I grew up believing in Santa and when I found out he wasn’t real I wasn’t crushed and I didn’t start thinking my parents were liars. We have 2 daughters that are now 24 and 19 and they also believed in Santa and weren’t scarred by the truth. Our 19 year old still gets Santa presents and her stocking and she plays it up for our 2 younger children. For us it’s not about getting the “credit” for the hard work and presents. It’s for the enjoyment and the fun we all get out of Santa. For the innocent belief in something magical and wonderful that only happens once a year.
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Dec 13th, 2008
I’m a believer of letting people do whatever they want, without comment from the peanut gallery. It’s your life, do with it as you wish. Good for you for not caring what others think.
My husband and I were discussing whether we should tell our daughter about Santa or just tell her the truth (she’s only 21 months old)…
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Dec 13th, 2008
We are a Santa family, but I think each family has to come to their own decision concerning Santa. My dad had been known to play Santa from time to time. When I was ten, my grandfather told me the older he gets the more he believes in Santa. When I see my dad giving presents to underprivileged kids and my daughter talking with residents in the nursing home, I know my grandfather was right. We use Santa to teach our kids the importance of doing for others.
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Dec 13th, 2008
Thank you for all the wonderful comments!
I agree that this decision should be left up to each family and not be discriminated against either way. The intention of my post was not to dispute whether or not you should celebrate Santa, but why our family get looked at weird for not doing so. I hope that came across okay.
I also forgot to tell you something we do on Christmas day. We take all the presents and put them in a chest before our son wakes up. My husband creates a “treasure hunt” for him with clues that get him closer to the presents. Each year we have a different theme like pirates, aliens, robots, etc. My son LOVES this. It will be fun this year seeing my one year old follow him and finding clues together.
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Dec 13th, 2008
I TOTALLY respect what you said here. It actually makes sense. I loves believing in Santa when I grew up so I want my kids to believe in him. What doesn’t make sense is the person I know who doesn’t like lying to her kids about Santa but her son thinks Spider man is real…uh, ok. Also, I laugh when people say they don’t want their kids to be “traumatized” when they find out Santa isn’t real. I don’t think anyone is seeking therapy for finding out Santa is a fairy tale!
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Dec 13th, 2008
Emily-I don’t think anyone would need to seek therapy either. I remember finding out by seeing my dad wrap presents the night before (when he thought I was sleeping) and the same presents saying “Santa” on them. I wouldn’t say it traumatized me, but it did make me feel weird about my parents for a while. It would have been easier if they talked to me about than the way I found out. (dad wrapping presents in his underwear while smoking a pipe)
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Dec 13th, 2008
This is an area where my husband I disagree. I prefer not to lie to my kids while my husband tries to convince the whole Santa drops off the presents story. I finally convinced my 7 year old son this year that Sanata is a make believe character and he was irritated that his dad had been lying to him about it. Exactly what I wanted to avoid to begin with.
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Dec 13th, 2008
I really enjoyed reading your post. We do celebrate Santa, but I think the way that you have positioned it to your kids is great! What an original idea – just like superman or some other really cool fictional character! For us, that might work as a good positioning tool when the time comes to “tell the truth”
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Dec 13th, 2008
We’re a santa family for many reasons. We de-emphasize crazy gift-giving by doing “secret Santa” for one person (www.elfster.com is a great service for this).
I have to admit, part of me still thinks that Santa is real… perhaps that’s because St. Nicholas is real.
Happy Winter to you all! We finally have snow!! Yippee!!
@msomustek
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Dec 13th, 2008
Hi Amy, I have been following you on Twitter and am really enjoying your blog.
When I was eight I walked in on my dad putting together a train set for my brother that the next morning was from “Santa” my dad took me for a walk (for him– I was on my new skates) and we talked about Santa being love and that he is not a real person but a real feeling. That special walk between the two of us is cherished memory for me. I say all of that to say that we do have Santa gifts, but will never flat out say yes there is a man called Santa, we will say “what do you think?” and let him make his own assumptions. When he finds out for sure that there is no Santa, we will have the same special talk about love and being kind.
Again, love the blog, and great post. (and if you are in OK than we are not far apart so I do understand the “Santa culture”! Try telling people you are only buying your kid three gifts and see what happens!
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Dec 13th, 2008
No Santa around here. Like you said, we just say he’s like Charlie Brown, or whatever. Pretend, not real. And Christmas for our family is about Christ. I want our kids to be thankful to the Lord, not Santa, for their gifts. And I’ve also heard of children being confused about whether Christ is real or not after finding out about Santa. I don’t want that confusion.
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Dec 14th, 2008
I think every family needs to come up with its own traditions. Those traditions may seem odd to those outside the family, but that is O.K.
We are a Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny family. It is how my husband and I were both raised. When my children were little they totally believed in Santa. When each child was 5 or 6 they started questioning the mall Santa. We said he was a “helper.” All seemed satisfied with this explanation. At 8-10 I got more questions about Santa—I would say “those that believe in Santa get presents from Santa”–think Polar Express. The children seemed satisfied with this explanation.
Now, I would never not give a child presents from “Santa,” but I did want to continue the Santa experience for my younger children. I want to continue the Santa presents until my youngest is a preteen.
The children get two sets of present–Santa presents are in the familyroom and Mommy/Daddy presents are in the living room. My 12 year old just stopped believing this year…I will give myself a pat on the back for this. She was not upset to find out…just relieved to have an answer. We had a first this weekend–I took her shopping and let her choose her own presents. She promised to act surprised in front of her brother and sister!
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Dec 14th, 2008
No Santa here. But we don’t not let them see him at the mall or talk about him. (I was brought up without even Santa deco…too hard core for me!)
My kids know the truth and if they feel compelled to still believe fine, but we don’t go along with it.
I don’t look down on anyone who does believe, this was just right for our family.
We focus more on giving than receiving…don’t get me wrong the kids do get spoiled!
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Dec 15th, 2008
We are a Santa family, but definitely not hard core. We never do the whole “you better be good cause Santas watching” thing. He also only brings one or two presents and the rest are from us. We want the credit, LOL:) We haven’t told Wesley there is no santa (he’s 8), but he is slowly coming to that conclusion all by himself. It has a lot to do with what the other kids are saying at school and the fact that he thinks WAY too much about things.
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Dec 23rd, 2008
Santa was short lived, but fun to have while he was around! He filled Christmas stockings – parents and family gave the other presents. As a single mom when my kids were still little, I didn’t want them to think that Santa gave other children lots of gifts and only gave them a very few. But by 1st grade they’d figured it all out anyway.
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Nov 9th, 2009
We are a non-Santa family and this is why: I want my children to know that what I tell them is the truth because I tell them about their Savior, Jesus Christ. If I told them that Santa, the Easter bunny, etc are real and then one day tell them they aren’t(or they find out from a friend), how do they know they can trust me when I say that Jesus is still real? Just my opinion.
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Nov 9th, 2009
We don’t celebrate Santa either. Our daughter knows we get presents on Christmas day because the wise men also took Jesus presents and we give her the presents. She knows Santa is there as a part of Christmas but no she doesnt write to him or wait up for him. I think its important she know that ‘Jesus is the reason for the season’ and not Santa and I know some parents would disagree but I think its important to build the foundation young. We even have a cake on Christmas day, cut it and sing Happy Birthday to Jesus. Yes we do have a tree, yes we do decorate….but we try to keep the focus on the Birth of Christ
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Nov 9th, 2009
My parents didn’t tell me Santa was real for pretty much the same reasons you expressed.
To me Santa was a fairy tale figure like Snow White or Cinderella. I still went to see him at the mall, but I knew he was pretend, and that the gifts came from mom and dad. In fact when I was four I climbed up on Santa’s lap and told him, “You’re just a figment of my imagination.” Something I’d heard my dad say. Poor Santa. He was left speechless.
I was about the only kid who didn’t believe in Santa, and I know I shattered the dreams of more than a few classmates and cousins when I informed them Santa wasn’t real.
My husband on the other hand believed the whole Santa myth as a child. I lost the argument, and he and my in-laws have my oldest believing in Santa now. So I have to keep up the act too, and I can’t help but feel like I’m conspiring to lie to my child.
David’s smart though, and I don’t think it will be long before he figures out the truth. He’s already asked questions like, “How can Santa get that many toys in that little sleigh?” and “We don’t even have a chimney. How Does he get in?”
Thanks for posting this. Now I don’t feel like my childhood was so strange after all.
[Reply]
Amy Bellgardt Reply:
November 9th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
My husband grew up not believing in Santa, either. At first, I was skeptical, but it honestly made sense to me once he told me why. I know it’s not for everyone, though.
[Reply]
Nov 9th, 2009
First of all, to each his/her own, right? I do want to say, in response to some of the posts, that believing in Santa in no way harmed my relationship with my parents or my ability to believe what they told me. We do Santa because I LOVED Santa as a child. I love the magic and wonder of it. I love that it embodies the idea of being selfless and giving during the holiday season in a way that is tangible for young children. I love Santa Claus for the same reasons I love Disney World. I know when I walk into that park that it’s designed to evoke this feeling or that, but it’s a place of wonder, even if it isn’t “real.” I want to raise children who believe in imaginary friends and the world of make believe. I think that kids grow up far too quickly and that we rob them of their ability to imagine and create by telling them that there are only right and wrong answers. Santa is just one more way to help them imagine the impossible. It saddens me that so many parents made Santa into something that was unpleasant for their kids, but I also don’t think Santa Claus is the determining factor for a creative mind. It doesn’t matter to me so much if other parents don’t teach their kids about Santa Claus… as long as your kids don’t ruin the magic for mine. And as for why you get “weird looks”… I think that for me, Santa is such a cool tradition that it makes me sad that other people don’t feel the same way. I feel the same way about people who don’t like chocolate. Then again, I don’t feel the need to judge others for their beliefs. Live and let live.
[Reply]
Amy Bellgardt Reply:
November 10th, 2009 at 11:31 am
Christy-
Yes, to each his/her own. Really, it isn’t my business what people decide about Santa. My son keeps to himself about Santa because he knows some of his friends would be hurt to know the truth. I made sure to let him know this to avoid any conflicts at school, and he’s totally cool with it. Thank you for your comment, you know I love you no matter what!
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Christy Reply:
November 11th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
The feeling is mutual, Amy! We all have our own traditions that hold meaning for us. It’s what keeps things interesting.
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Nov 9th, 2009
I feel exactly as Elle and Christy do.
We love Santa too. I would never judge someone who didn’t partake in that part of Christmas. Like Christy said it does make me a little sad but I don’t think it makes anyone a bad parent. To each his own
I LOVE Christmas and love the whole Santa thing, it’s just so magical, and special. They are only little for a short time and I am going to do all I can to make lots of special memories for them and this is one of them for us! We always put out milk and cookies for santa, my son gets a special “magical” snow globe from Santa every year, Santa always leaves him a letter, we do reindeer tracks in the snow, lots of little traditions like that. My son has a blast with it and soon when our littlest ( 11 month old ) is old enough to understand we will do all the same for him.
With that said I am sure there are many other ways you make special memories with yours, like the treasure chest idea! I am not saying Santa is the only way, he’s just one of ours
We do always make sure our son knows the real meaning behind Christmas, we never lose sight of that. It’s more than Santa and presents and he knows that.
I however can’t see anyone being traumatized or thinking their parents are liars when finding out the truth about Santa.
[Reply]
Nov 10th, 2009
Firstly, we believe in Christmas and I tell the Christmast story to my kids about Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus. I teach them what the holiday actually means.
Yes, Santa visits our house and we leave cookies and reindeer food out. I guess its just a Tradition thats been passed down from when we were kids. The excitement that builds with the magic of Santa is priceless.
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Nov 10th, 2009
My grandma thought it was wrong teach kids about Santa. She had religious ones, she thought he was like a god figure and that was wrong. But my whole family did not celebrate Christmas as Christ’s birth. We will be doing both with our kids.
Do you celebrate Halloween though? It would be interesting if you didn’t do the Santa-thing but you do celebrate Halloween.
[Reply]
Amy Bellgardt Reply:
November 10th, 2009 at 11:43 am
To be honest, we are just not big holiday people at all. We just started taking our oldest trick or treating a couple years ago. From a Christian standpoint, the bible does not require the act of any holiday (including the birth of Christ), except the Passover, and many of the Christian holidays involve old Pagan traditions (like Christmas trees), etc. BUT, that is a whole other subject and post! We partake in Christmas and Halloween, but don’t gloss over any of the details of its history to our kids.
[Reply]
Nov 10th, 2009
I don’t have kids yet but I remember as a child thinking that Mom and Dad gave really crappy Christmas gifts (socks and underwear, for example). It’s kind of sweet that your children still get to participate in the game of Santa AND realize it’s an expression of your love for them.
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Nov 10th, 2009
if i didn’t have kids, i wouldn’t celebrate the few holidays that we do. i definitely don’t celebrate thanksgiving, and i’m not religious.
all of my kids knew there was no santa by the time they were 5. they were the ones who told me. i remember when my son, who is now 22, came up to me and said, ‘mom, i know there’s no such thing as santa’. the rest of my kids are tweens/teens so they don’t usually have to keep the secret to themselves, though they will if there are little kids involved. they have a half sister who is sort of being raised muslim…they don’t celebrate christmas at all.
i guess some people need something to believe in…it helps them in some way
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Nov 10th, 2009
We celebrate Christmas. We believe in Santa. I believe in Santa. Santa/ St. Nicholas represents the spirit of giving and I hope my kids never lose that magic. I wouldn’t say anything negative against not having Santa visit your house, though. I just like the magic behind it.
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Nov 10th, 2009
I grew up in a family where we didn’t celebrate Santa and we knew the gifts were from our parents. Somehow, it made it easier during the lean years, because then us kids knew why there weren’t as many presents or as nice as presents as our friends. We didn’t get disappointed that Santa didn’t bring us this or that, because we knew. We were told by our Parents though not to tell other children there was no Santa Claus, but we could write a report in our school that there wasn’t if we were told to write about Santa.
Actually that happened once, and my teacher called my parents totally upset. My Dad set her straight, and instead of an F, because I didn’t go on and on about Santa in my report, I received an A for writing about how we always baked a birthday cake together for baby Jesus, and gathered around it as a family and sung Happy Birthday to him each year. We also blew the lights on the cake out together (we always put 3 candles to represent the trinity). After we blew the lights out, Dad would say “We are not blowing the light of the world out by blowing out these candles, we are merely taking him into our hearts.”
However when I married my husband and became an instant step-mom to his 8 year old son, we did let him believe in Santa the first year. Then I brought in the tradition of the cake too, so the next year my husband felt our son was old enough to know there was no real Santa.
When he was explaining it to him, our son said,
“Oh, I already knew that, I’ve known that since I was six. I just didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to spoil your fun.”
Alot of kids already know anyways, even if their parents don’t think they do.
So I totally have no problem with your decision.
I even grew up with no Christmas tree because my Dad thought they were pagan.
Yet, when I got married I had one, until this year. We got a new Dog and I think he’ll totally destroy it and the decorations. I will put some decorations up, but they’ll be up high on shelves and such. I’m decorating with Snowmen, because Jesus came to wash our sins white as snow is my theme this year.
[Reply]
Nov 10th, 2009
My dad and I were talking about this the other day and we were saying the same thing. I was raised believing in santa and the tooth fairy but I don’t remember how I reacted when I learned they weren’t real. I guess it wasn’t a big deal. But now that I’m older and I think about everything logically, I completely agree with you. It just doesn’t make sense to basiclaly lie to your children about all of that stuff – it’s so much effort to do that and really all it does is confuse them.
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Nov 10th, 2009
We don’t celebrate Santa or any other figure either. I let my kids know that they are just a character.
We do however celebrate Christmas.
It is true. Many things around the holidays are just imbedded into it that most parents don’t even talk to their children about the significance.
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Nov 10th, 2009
My kids are teens and young adults now. We never really celebrated Santa, just because I didn’t want to teach my kids a lie. Though I do still put “from Santa” on a surprise gift or two. My kids know he’s not real (as in the red suited, white bearded Santa that’s popular today) just like they know the tooth fairy and the Easter Bunny aren’t real either. My grandkids are enjoying the “magic” of Santa while they are little, but are also taught that he is not real, that mommy and daddy buy and wrap all the presents and that Santa is just for fun.
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Nov 10th, 2009
I love this and thank you for saying it! Growing up we were told Santa wasn’t real and it never made a difference. My parents figured that making up a character was a lie and then how could they teach us about not lying? Maybe it’s a hard line to pull but I’m with Diane. When I say someone Jesus is real but Isaac can’t see him I want him to believe me. I love Christmas. love love love it, so clearly it didn’t take away any magic for me!!!
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Nov 10th, 2009
I never remember believing in Santa, as soon as we asked if he was real my parents told me he wasn’t. I plan on doing the same with my children. I believe that “Jesus is the reason for the season” and could care less about Santa. He’s definitely not going to be a big deal around here ever!!!
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Nov 10th, 2009
We kind of do the whole Santa thing, only because my parents are big Santa fans. Out of our four kids (ages 8, 6 & 5), three already know that there is no Santa because when they asked we didn’t lie to them. And our youngest just turned one and has no idea what Santa is anyway.
We did Santa when I was little and I remember loving it, but we never really saw the point with our kids. We’ve never done the Easter Bunny either. We do love Christmas though, really!
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Nov 10th, 2009
This was so fun to read through! We don’t do Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc. and I don’t feel like my son is deprived at all. We are delighted by the “magic” of Christ and exchange gifts because He gave us the best gift of all! I did grow up believing in Santa, but figured out myself at age 7 that he wasn’t real. I was SO upset that my parents had been lying to me and made it my “duty” to tell every other kid in my class about how their parents were lying to them! I’m sure I set my 5-year old sister straight about the whole thing too! My mom had no idea that I had done that until she received some angry phone calls! So be warned – your Santa-believing kids could be the ones telling everybody that he’s not real – LOL! I do love Christmas, but we have always let our son know that Santa is just a fun story and that his gifts are from his family.
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Nov 12th, 2009
I LOVE this post and especially the fact that you are gracious toward those who may do things differently!!!
We never really made a thing out of Santa. When our kids got old enough to ask, we simply asked “What do YOU think?” and they, in turn, responded that they didn’t think he was real. All we had to do was give them a wink of affirmation and that was that.
I did, however, get a call once from an angry mother demanding that my son tell her children that Santa was real after the kids had had a playground chat on the subject and mine revealed his recent conclusion. I thought that was taking it a bit too far, and had to tell her no. Then this chick said that she had already PAID a guy to walk around outside of her house in a Santa suit at midnight on Christmas so she could wake her kids and drag them to the window to see him!! and that we were RUINING their Christmas!!!
My response was “BAHAhahahahahahaha!!!”
Anyway, I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say Well Done!!
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Nov 12th, 2009
We don’t do Santa, the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny. We are teaching our toddler that these are make-believe characters and that people like to pretend. We ARE teaching her the story of the real person Saint Nicholas who inspired the make-believe Santa.
I am starting to do the smile-and-nod thing too when people ask if our daughter is ready for Santa. I hate it but if it’s a stranger, why bother taking the time to explain? If it’s someone we know, then I might take the time, depends on how snarky I’m feeling!
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Nov 13th, 2009
Amy, I grew up in a family who celebrated Santa but my husband and I decided when we had kids that we would let them know the true meaning of Christmas, plus the real story behind Santa (who he was based on and that spirit of giving to others) and although we do “pretend” Santa, our kids have always known the truth. They are both teenagers now but when they were little we did visit Santa at the mall and did pretend he was coming Christmas Eve but they knew it was pretend, just like the ToothFairy and Easter Bunny. We’ve gone through some of the same questioning and people thinking we were weird, but why be normal, LOL? I have never looked down on or judged others for letting their kids believe Santa or any of the other characters were real. I don’t believe my kids have missed out by knowing the truth. We focus more on the true meaning of Christmas and giving to others but still enjoy the magic of pretending too.
I think the treasure chest and clues to hunt for it sound like a very fun tradition! Your sons will grow up with fond memories of it, I’m sure.
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Nov 13th, 2009
I don’t know why people take it so hard. They must fear that they’re being judged. I think if a person’s immediate reaction is defensiveness, they usually aren’t really mad at you, but at being caught off guard with an opinion they hadn’t considered yet.
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Amy Reply:
November 22nd, 2009 at 4:36 pm
Cindy- I think, for the most part, that is usually the case. I never judge anyone who celebrates Santa, but sometimes they assume I do.
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Nov 22nd, 2009
I grew up beleeving in Santa. It didn’t make me a materialistic kid because my parents explained that I couldn’t get everything on my list because there wouldn’t be anything left for the other kids Santa visited. My parents were also mindful to teach me that Santa and the relgious part of the season were separate and that the relgious part is why we really do all that we do.
My brother & sister in law where the first people I knew that didn’t do Santa for their kids. I was OK with it. They are their kids after all and I can warp then in other ways later.
I’m a little sad that we don’t do stocking with that side of the family. I like coming up wtih stocking stuffer ideas. So my husband and I do it for ourselves and our dog. Only since we are a house of grownups Santa leaves things like bottles of liquer and brandy in our stockings. Yay Santa!
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Nov 24th, 2009
My husband wanted to go the Santa route, but I was raised to know the real meaning of Christmas early. We compromised. We told the kids about Santa, but left many clues that Santa wasn’t real. When they called me on it, I told them that “believing” in Santa was part of the deal or “Santa” might not come.
Now my boys are teens and each year at Christmas, they smile, ask me to tell Santa what is on their wish list, and wink. It’s a lot of fun.
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Nov 28th, 2009
We celebrate, but we are upfront with our kids about the fact that it is fantasy and make-believe. We do let them know than many kids believe it’s real, and to keep it a secret.
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Nov 28th, 2009
It’s great to hear all of the different opinions since I’ve never really met anyone that didn’t want to teach their kids about Santa. My family grew up in a non-traditional home, traveling a lot, never having a core group of kids, so it was unlikely that we would hear Santa stories and impossible for Santa to bring presents to us in the traditional manner. I remember shattering someone’s Santa dreams once. It was devastating for them. As for my children, this is something pretty important to me as I don’t want to lie to them about anything. There is still so much love, magic, & joy in Christmas without Santa, I don’t believe we need him. It will be a quite a battle though as my guy completely disagrees.
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Nov 29th, 2009
Thank you for this post and thread. I found you while I was googling info on how NOT to tell your kids about Santa. I am pregnant with our first child, and my husband and I really don’t want to do the Santa schtick. (My husband hated that his parents had lied to him, even after he had confronted them that Santa wasn’t real, and I hated being crushed when I found out he wasn’t; I cried for a long time and felt like Christmas had been ruined.) But I have never met anyone else who doesn’t follow the Santa tradition. Reading everyone’s comments made me feel less alone and gave me some ideas on how to handle the situation later on. Thank you!
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Amy Bellgardt Reply:
December 21st, 2009 at 7:19 pm
You are not alone. I was so surprised after I wrote this article that so many were living the same as us. I don’t think anyone should feel forced or obligated to celebrate Santa if they don’t wish to, you know?
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Dec 21st, 2009
That’s funny, I just posted the same type of thing about not doing the Santa thing! It’s true, people think it’s weird, but we don’t care. My kids will straight up tell a stranger Santa is not a real person and look at them like they are crazy. LOL
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Amy Bellgardt Reply:
December 21st, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Ha! Well, my son keeps to himself about Santa. He knows some families participate, so he’s very quiet about it.
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Dec 21st, 2009
I don’t teach my daughter Santa either. It’s a religious thing for me because I don’t want to confuse her. I don’t want to tell her hey there’s a Jesus and there’s a Santa and they’re both very similar, yet one isn’t real. She sees it on the Christmas shows, etc but, I don’t teach it to her and frankly I don’t understand why so many Christians do it either? It’s prob because they always did it? I don’t discriminate but, I see what you’re saying about others having a prob with you not doing it. I get stink eye here and there.
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Amy Bellgardt Reply:
December 21st, 2009 at 7:23 pm
Yeah, same here. It is a weird message to send, in my opinion, too. (about Jesus vs. Santa) I think Santa, in some ways, is more for the parents than the children! It may make us adults feel like children ourselves? I dunno. To be honest, I look at Christmas as more of a worldly holiday, and I am a Christian. There is no commandment in the Bible saying we should celebrate Christ’s birth- it was something we created.
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Dec 21st, 2009
Well, I can totally relate to the way you feel, I mean, what’s to celebrate about Santa, first of all!
I have to kids, and both of them know that Santa is a made-up character (who takes credit for the gifts I buy with a lot effort). Our children are very creative and very imaginative they don’t need
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Dec 21st, 2009
My girls “know” Santa and when they get older we will tell them about St. Nicholas, the actual person who inspired the story of Santa. They have both actually been to St. Nicholas’ grave so hopefully we can make the distinction that one was real and one was fiction easily.
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Dec 22nd, 2009