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It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

August 23, 2010 By Colleen Stout 6 Comments

It’s  not Christmas, but it’s almost as good as Christmas for Mom. It’s back-to-school time. Now that the kids are once again inside the Hallowed Halls of Knowledge you can :

1. Go to the bathroom. Alone.

2. Stop eating your secret stash of chocolate in the laundry room.

3. Waste all morning on Facebook.

4. Organize your closets. Or not.

5. Actually get your heart rate up while working out, because you won’t have to stop every two minutes to get someone a cookie.

6. Have cake for lunch. (The reason why you need number five.)

7. Read a book. That doesn’t have pictures.

8. Make a phone call. Without having a three-way conversation.

9. Sit on the couch with a cup of coffee, and get reacquainted with the pleasant sound of silence.

10. (The only thing better than number 1.) Go grocery shopping without an entourage.

Chain Gang

July 24, 2010 By Colleen Stout 4 Comments

I bought David, my five year old, toy handcuffs.

He went with me to take his his little brother Wade to the doctor. It was a long morning. David behaved really well, but started to get bored by the time we arrived at the drug store to pick up a prescription.

We had more stops to make, so when David asked for a pair of cheap, toy handcuffs I gave in. I figured they would keep him entertained while I finished up errands.

When we got out of the mini-van at the mall David asked if he could bring the handcuffs in. I said yes. How much damage could they do?

Inside the mall I pushed Wade in the stroller, and David walked along side it.

David was still behaving well. In fact he was staying unusually close to me. Normally I need to keep a tight reign on him in public.

I noticed that people passing by us were doing double-takes, and turning back around to look.

Then I saw something shiny catch the light on the side of the stroller.

David’s handcuffs. [Read more...]