The Results Are In… (J&K+8 Spoiler)

Jon & Kate Plus 8 DramaSo if you haven’t watched the Monday night “announcement” on Jon & Kate Plus Eight, do not continue reading…

Again, why do I care?  I just finished watching the episode and it resulted in the obvious divorce prediction from most of the media, and you, who left comments.  I cannot say that I was surprised, but yet, I sorta was at the same time.  I was mostly taken aback at Jon’s demeanor and some of the things he said about it being a “kinda exciting, but scary” time.  Exciting?  I also didn’t like that he brought up the fact that he is only (32), as if he needs to be doing something else other than working on his marriage.  He mentioned that he was very proud of himself for not being passive anymore, and I agree with that to an extent, but I think he’s taking it a little too far.

I think Jon was too passive the past ten years.  They even mentioned in past episodes that he would bottle his emotions up, then just explode out of nowhere.  It’s obvious that Kate is very overbearing, and she would wear on anyone’s nerves, but it was his own fault, as well, for being too silent.  Isn’t it Dr. Phil who says, “We teach people how to treat us?”  I think for the first time in his marriage (or soon-to-be divorce) he feels empowered for standing up to her, and I suppose that is why it is “kinda exciting.”

There was no conversation about counseling or marriage help, so we really don’t know if they tried before coming to their decision.  Kate said Jon would not talk to her, and honestly, I wouldn’t either if I were Jon, unless I had a counselor or mediator there to assist.  They kept saying, almost at nauseum, that they were doing this for their kids, but they never mentioned what they would be willing to do for each other?  This makes me the saddest of all.

I don’t know where the show will go from here, but I can’t imagine it being very pleasant to watch.  It would be foolish to assume that we won’t see the kids hurting or confused, and that is just terrible to think about.  Gosh, I just wish they could get over themselves and find respect for each other and stick it out “for the kids.”  It’s so hard to see a family go through this.

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It’s not very often that I get personal my blog, but this  J&K+8 story really hits home .  I was eight (the twin’s age) and my brother was five (the sextupet’s age) when my mother left my dad and filed for divorce.  It was devastating, not only financially (I’m sure the Gosselins won’t have this problem), but emotionally.  As a 33 year-old, I STILL deal with the issues of abandonment, insecurity, and anxiety in my relationships.  I often fear that if things are going well, they will soon be taken away and all hell will break loose.  I respect the Gosselins for putting the kids with one parent at all times, which wasn’t the case for my brother and I, who were often left alone to fiend for ourselves.

I’m not here to judge anyone who is or will be divorced, whether it is justified or not. I’m just speaking from the perspective of a kid who has gone through it.  You always hear that kids are resilient to divorce, but they aren’t.  They  may seem  somewhat okay in the moment, but there are long-lasting effects that need constant attention.  (I think many parents forget about this)

Who knows, maybe there can be “peace” as Kate said tonight.  Maybe they’ll realize how much they really do need each other and come back together.  Only time (and episodes) will tell.  My only prayer for them is that they follow God’s plan, whatever that may be.

Would love to hear your thoughts.