Do you fit the stereotype?
I try not to stereotype, I really do, but it’s hard to deny the stereotype of a woman. Why? Because it is true.
We’re too emotional. Too dramatic. We hold grudges. We tear down our own kind. We get jealous. We gossip.
I see it almost daily online. Mothers degrading other mothers and women. Defaming. Indulging in the misery of others. Purposely leaving others out of opportunities. Name calling. Insults.
It’s wrong and annoying.
As mothers, we strive to be the nurturer and support system of our children, yet many of us do not carry this over to the women in our community. We have the power to do positive, meaningful things, yet we focus our energies on petty, meaningless crap. What a waste.
I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to fight this stereotype. Who’s with me?
About Mom Spark
Boy, did you hit the nail on the head. I am consistently afraid to join groups or talk to another woman, because I figure she is just going to hurt me. Now part of that is my own mental problem and part of it is experience. I truly try to be the best me I can be everyday and I hope you can never say you saw me participate in any of the negative behaviors listed above. My daughter asked me once “Mommy when do the popular girls stop picking on the normal girls?” All I could tell her was it never stops you just learn that what they say blows back in their hair. Now as I put myself out there again as a woman I am pleased that I have been able to surround myself with other nurturing good women and I thank you all for being here and around me.
Teresa
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Mom Spark Reply:
March 8th, 2010 at 6:34 pm
@Teresa Green, Never fear putting yourself out there because there are GREAT women you can confide and trust in. I know I focused on the negative ones out there, but please don’t let that detour you from the positivity that does exist!
It’s funny, some of my very best friends in high school were guys. They were so much easier to relate to for me.
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Another great post, Amy! There are several positive influences in this community, and some negative nellies too
Gotta find the good apples – they really aren’t too difficult to find either!
One thing I found interesting recently. Our son had a spat with a boy in his class. I talked to the mother and we worked it out with the kids. The boys knew to drop it and go on or else they will be disciplined. Our boys haven’t brought it up but the parent dropped stupid comments on their facebook wall about our son and our conversation. To my knowledge, their son has dropped it at school, yet the parents haven’t? Sometimes I’m baffled that a 10 year old can act more responsible and get past stuff more than an adult.
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Mom Spark Reply:
March 8th, 2010 at 7:42 pm
@Andrea @ MommySnacks.net, Wow, isn’t that interesting? Sounds about right, though! It’s sad, but you’re right, there are plenty of decent women in our community that we need to remember. I just hate being part of a stereotype that keeps confirming itself, you know? We need to be more like men. (without the body hair)
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How poignant that you write this piece, almost a week after I watched yet another HUGE blow out between mothers in my community over something that happened three years ago. It was so awful I actually called the editor of our paper to shut down the comments on the blog where the eruption took place. The Civil War looks like child’s play compared to angry mommies screaming at each other. Oy. You are SO right when you say that many times women fail to offer the same nurturing actions they give to their children to other women.
Granted, when I am on twitter I am representing my business so I’m 2/3 more tame than normal, but even then, I do not write anything there or on someone’s blog that I would be ashamed to read aloud to my children.
And then there’s karma….what you put out into this world is what you get back. Goodness begets goodness.
I don’t know if we necessarily need to be more like men, we just need to be better versions of ourselves.
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Mom Spark Reply:
March 9th, 2010 at 11:25 am
@Melissa Wardy, I agree with you 100%. I’m being a bit sarcastic about being “more like men”. My point is that men brush things off and move on, and women in general have a harder time doing that.
I love your movement and kudos to you for doing it!
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I’m with you and ready to fight the stereotype too! Women, we are powerful, and even more so when we build each up instead of tearing each other down. Comparison is our biggest enemy, so let’s love ourselves, and embrace each other’s differences. If we disagree, let’s set an example for our daughters, by showing them we can still have compassion for one another even if we see the world a bit differently.
Of course, in the real world, there will continue to be women that lash out at others due to their continued insecurity. The rest of us can just see it for what it is, take the higher road, and counteract with encouragement.
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Every year, just about this time the claws come out. Don’t know why, only know they do. Honestly, the only way to fight this type is with factual information, kindness and more fact. There always have been mean girls, on and off line. They exist even among women of much more advanced years than my self. Doesn’t mean that its right. Keep smiling, keep up the good work!
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Very true. I really need to work on not gossiping. I will admit that is the worst part of me as a woman.
Thanks for the reminder and if we could all work on NOT putting one another down, I think we’d be an amazing force.
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Mom Spark Reply:
April 5th, 2010 at 4:42 pm
@Suzanne (Crunchy Green Mom), We’re all guilty of it. It is sadly part of our nature or culture, I’m not sure which.
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