6 Hilarious Tips for Surviving a Road Trip with Kids
1. Don’t believe the ETA on the GPS. They have yet to find an accurate algorithm that calculates ETA when traveling with children. Add one extra hour for every three of what the GPS says, and you’ll get you a close guess.
2. Snacks keep little hands and mouths busy. They hold off low-blood-sugar meltdowns if you get lost in-the-middle-of-nowhere at dinner time. But dole them our carefully. Too many treats lead to too many drinks which lead to too many potty breaks. That will really screw up your ETA.
3. Get some little foam earplugs. You’ll still be able hear, “Mom! Roll down the window! I think I’m gonna be sick!” But they’ll muffle the sounds of, “Are we there yet?” and preserve your sanity.
4. Even if it’s just a day trip, bring a change of clothes for everyone. Because Dad will buy the kid a red slushie, and the red slushy will end up all over the kid and backseat. And you will find yourself in a one-horse town shopping at the local Family Dollar for dry underwear and pants. (True story.)
5. Embrace the consumption of fast food if only for the duration of the trip. At least the kids will eat. There’s nothing worse than a car full of fussy, starving children. You can detox when you get home.
6. When the, “He’s looking at me!” “She’s touching me!” stuff starts you answer with, “Don’t make me stop this car and come back there.” Then you actually stop the car, and come back there. You won’t have to do anything else. The simple fact that you did it will shock them into good behavior. How many times did you parents make that threat? How many times did they ever really pull over?