What Will My Children Say About Me?

Cozumel Coast

As adults, most of us have a long list of all the ways our parents have screwed up, or screwed us up. I actually have a whole post devoted to it, or at least in part. Some moments from my childhood were so impactful, in fact, that they have permanently molded my personality (the good, the bad and the really bad), as well as created the formula for my decision making. Not all of my childhood was horrible, yet those scary, hurtful moments tend to hold more weight than the good ones.

Parents are given such a short window of time to lay a stable, healthy foundation for their children.

I would guess that most parents don’t mean to inflict pain on their children or intentionally make bad choices for them. But, then again, how often do we stop and think about the power of our words and how those words link together to create our children’s inner dialogue, self-esteem and decision making?

Now that I am a parent, I often wonder how powerful my actions, words and decisions are influencing my kids. As much as I try to lead by example, discipline in a healthy manner and teach the rights and wrongs of the world, I stumble. I fail. I make major mistakes. And often.

How will my failures shape my kids? The very thought is frightening.

What will my children say about me when they are adults? What list of flaws and pain from their childhood will they create, and how many of those items will be the result of my parenting?

It is overwhelming.