You Either Rock or You Suck.

You Either Rock or You Suck.

It’s life I suppose.  There will always be positive, uplifting souls and those who feed on negativity and annihilation.  Really, what can you do? Actually, quite a lot.

Even though I’ve only been blogging for a couple of years, I’ve been writing since high school.  I’ve had websites, message boards, chat rooms and online journals off and on for years.  Before the internet I even had my own “‘zine”, which was more or less a prehistoric blog. (if you ever had a ‘zine, holla!)  I also had an eBay business for years and my husband and I have been business owners our entire marriage.  He works in traditional media and now I in social media.  Same concepts, really.

The fact that I’ve been successful in blogging and social media makes absolute sense.  I finally found the platform I had been looking for all of these years and it totally clicked for me.  I love the social (being an extreme extrovert) and business side of blogging and social media.  It feels natural to me.  I work very hard and my accomplishments don’t come without a HUGE amount of work and effort.

Eight years ago I worked full-time in a state office.  Over a span of six years, I swiftly worked my way up the ladder as much as I could without having a college degree and I finally landed a great paying job as a “Secretary V” (a.k.a. Lord of the Secretaries).  People looked at me differently after I took the job, especially the employees who did have degrees and were receiving paychecks less than mine.

To a extent, I understand the frustration, but it had nothing to do with me.  I had the legitimate skill, talent, and experience for the job I applied for, so what exactly was the problem?  Why hate me, right?  Fear.  They felt threatened by this young woman who had more drive and ambition than a typical state worker and it was much easier to be mad at me than work harder themselves, or better yet, be happy for me.  It was something so completely foreign to me that it was hard for me to swallow, but it taught me a lot about life.

The same behaviors apply in the blogging space.  With every milestone I have hit in my two years, I have been greeted with the amazing support of the community, as well as the “dark side of the force”.  At first, it hurts.  Naturally it does, especially when you work so very hard to make a positive difference in the community. You can’t dwell in hurt, though, and I quickly learned that my reaction mattered more than the negativity around me.  I could have called out (or better yet, blog about) specific bloggers who have lied, spread rumors, or have been generally ugly to me or others, but it would only increase the negativity in the community and in myself.  I refuse to do it.

I have come to the conclusion that people either rock or they suck.

I’m not perfect.  I suck at times, too, but I try hard not to.   I try to stay focused on those who truly know my heart and uplift others.  I am drawn to positivity and those who really make a difference, whether that be making someone laugh, creating a charitable cause or just being an awesome mom.  I have surrounded myself around truly amazing bloggers who inspire me daily.  Women who are so secure about themselves and their purpose that any negativity around them goes unnoticed.  THAT rocks.

Today, when I am faced with an ugly statement or false accusations, I try to remedy the situation and then move on.  I  always remember that I have amazing friends, family and an awesome job.  Why would I let one person ruin that blessing for me?  I won’t.

My husband worked in radio for many years and his mentor told him once that, “You know you are doing something right when people start to hate you.”  In many ways that statement is true.  The more you put yourself out there (uh, blogging and social media), the more people will begin to judge you, criticize you, and try to tear you down.  Why?  Simple emotions like fear, insecurity, jealousy and the list goes on.  Yes, it hurts to hear, but your reaction can cause a change.  If you are a good person inside and out, your readers and followers will see it, read it and feel it, regardless of what else they hear.  Always stay strong and don’t let anyone crush you – your life is too awesome for that.  You know you and what you’re about, so don’t let others decide that for you.