I wanted to share a book with you that I am currently working on. I think all of us moms can relate and benefit from its message. I would love to hear your thoughts, so please leave a comment. Enjoy. 
Your Truest Self: Embracing the Woman You Are Meant to Be
Within every woman there is an essential Truth waiting to be claimed, a Truth that will empower her to claim a spiritual life that is real and authentic, one that will nourish and sustain her every day. Janice Lynne Lundy thoughtfully guides readers toward finding that essential truth for themselves. Drawing from her personal encounters with twelve spiritual mentors—Frances Moore Lappé, Daphne Rose Kingma, Iyanla Vanzant, Naomi Judd, and more—she has created twelve Transformational Truths to guide and enable women to live more peaceful, confident, and open-hearted lives.(Released by Sorin Books, Oct. 2008)
Befriending Ourselves
Any woman trying to keep up with the pace of life knows how challenging it can be to balance work, family, and personal needs. Challenging? How about darned near impossible!
Women are suffering from stress and stress-related illnesses, heart attacks, and strokes in escalating proportions. We feel depleted, burned out, or close to exhaustion. How in the world do we get the job done, meet obligations, take care of our families, and still take care of ourselves?
It seems to me a shift in priorities may be in order. Our tendency is to take care of business—everything and everyone around us—first. Then, if there is time or energy, we take care of our own needs, placing ourselves dead last on our “To Do” List. This is the way I Iived for years. Finally, in 1994, I had a “hit the wall” health experience. (I wrote about this in my first book, Coming Home to Ourselves.) I was forced to not only slow the pace of my life, but to come to a screeching halt. If I was to thrive, to be healthy and happy, I had to make serious life changes. What did I do? What can any women do in a similar situation? We can learn to “befriend” ourselves.
My dear friend and mentor, Sue Patton Thoele, an author and pyschotherapist, taught me about befriending. Sue is one of the featured mentors in Your Truest Self. She represents the fifth Transformational Truth “I CultivateCompassion for Myself. As I learned from Sue, befriending begins when we can treat ourselves as nicely as we treat everyone else. This means giving ourselves permission, time, energy, and the resources necessary to slow down, relax, and rejuvenate our wonderful self. We do good things for ourselves each and every day—not just when we’re on vacation.
Befriending requires an attitude of lovingkindness toward one’s self. We can begin by stripping out the unkind attitudes we hold toward ourselves; stop setting impossibly high standards for ourselves; stop pushing through to exhaustion. Then we incorporate small acts of self-care into our daily routine—rest, time for silence, creative pursuits, reading, or pampering. We do this in “baby steps,” in 5-minute increments, even if that is all the “free time” we have.
It is up to each of us to put an end to our own self-abuse—to be tender and loving to ourselves—so that our truest self, a peaceful and loving self can emerge. Believe me, your family and co-workers will thank you for it!
About the Author
Janice Lynne Lundy is an inspirational speaker, interfaith spiritual director, syndicated magazine columnist, and the author of four self-help/spiritual growth books for women. Her newest book, Your Truest Self: Embracing the Woman You Are Meant to Be, has just been released by Sorin Books. She resides in northern Michigan.
Learn more about Jan at her website: www.awakenedliving.com.
Register for her newsletter and she’ll send you her new, inspirational 90-page e-book, The Awakened Woman’s Guide to Life. Visit her blog: www.awakeisgood.blogspot.com. She enjoys hearing from her readers and responds personally. Email: jan@awakenedliving.com.
About Mom Spark
Good morning, Sue and Guests!
I am so pleased to be with you today at Mom Spark. I am sitting at my desk in northern Michigan, a chilly day at 2 degrees F. My husband and I have started our day gently as we always do. Sitting quietly, having some coffee (me, not him—my addiction), watching bald eagles fly over the Bay on which we live. A beguiling red fox visited us just now, trotting through our yard on the way to hunt for food at the water’s edge. This morning routine is one of my acts of “Befriending”—living more gently with myself—with life itself—the topic of today’s post.
It wasn’t always that way. I have 3 children. As of this writing they are 18, 24, and 26. But it was during those early “Mommy, mommy, mommy!” years that I discovered how important it was to befriend myself. I wrote about this journey in my first book, Coming Home to Ourselves: A Woman’s Journey to Wholeness. My children were 8, 14, and 16 at the time, and life was pretty darn crazy. Perhaps that is why I wrote … to save my sanity!
I still have my moments, especially when my college-aged daughter comes home. All Hades can break loose in a nanosecond! Life becomes a rollercoaster of late-teen emotion. I put on my baseball cap which reads “Patience.” I breathe, take quiet time, smile a lot and know that I CAN do this. I’m still parenting and, now, grandparenting. We have a 4-month-old an 8-year-old with us much of the time. They help me stay rooted in the present moment where my truest self thrives.
So here I am today, a woman who’s entered her “wisdom years,” eager to share with you what I’ve learned about being a mom—taking good care of our families and being our truest selves, too! I welcome your questions…
Love and blessings to you all,
Jan
[Reply]
This is the one that caught my attention because it is the hardest one for me to do. However, I found it very easy to give up houseword to pamper myself!!
[Reply]
Jan-I am so excited about this book. I am the classic stereotype of the mom who puts everyone first and takes no time to pamper myself.
I’m ready to make a change! Thank you for sharing your book with us!
[Reply]
Oh, yeah. I definitely fit the stereotype. Without a doubt!
[Reply]
Hello Jo Ann,
I love your priorities—well-being over housework. What a novel idea! It’s true, our self-care does take prioritizing. I am glad that you have found a way to make more time for yourself. And, remember, it’s not about being perfect. Martha Stewart we do not have to be! My motto is progress, not perfection.
Blessings to you!
Amy,
Glad to hear the book is speaking to your heart! Any change begins with baby steps–fueled by a heartfelt desire to feel better, live better. Without that passion for ourselves, all our good intentions will remain just those–glittery intentions.
May your heart lead you home to YOUR truest self!
Ashley,
Stereotypes are made to broken, yes they are…But WE are not. I hope that you will access as much lovingkindness for yourself as you have for others.
Be well!
[Reply]